December 30, Tonight, excerpts from Haver Lou Kattit’s documentary, “Blue Footed Boobies Exposed”

… for years I have been hoping to catch sight of the elusive Dickdoo. Science has been aware of their existence for thousands of years, but never has a Dickdoo ever been captured on any sort of film or motion picture. But I have studied the ancients methods and have constructed a trap to capture a live Dickdoo, of course, in a humane fashion. First I have dug a large hole and filled is with the ashes from a fire which consumed many trees. Then, garden vegetables, are lined up along the edge of the great hole. The trick is to time things out perfectly. When the Dickdoo gets hungry, it will go over to get the food. When it attempts to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole. This way no lives will be in danger…

Whatever you do, just don’t ask what’s a Dickdoo. I Am D.Void of San Nitty.